Sprite and the Mountain Trail

When they took me off the vent, they also took the feeding tube out. Because of the stroke they were afraid I couldn’t swallow strong enough to get it to my stomach and not my lungs so, in medical terms, they were afraid I would aspirate. They also thought covid liked moist environments so they waited on giving me any form of food or drink until I could pass a swallow test and the person that did the testing was out with covid. So, I had to wait. This truly might have been one of the worst times I had experienced, and my spirits were fading fast. At one point, I remember being so thirsty I looked at the shiny chrome side-rails on my bed and thought it looked wet and might be covered with condensation, so I tried to lick it, but my tongue was not long enough to reach, so I never got to find out. I remember being very disappointed about that.  

My only comfort was that they allowed Debbie to swab my mouth with little foam pads on a stick that were dabbed in water. It helped fight the cottonmouth, but it did nothing for my thirst. She was only allowed to swab my mouth about every 20 minutes or so. I was so thirsty, I begged her for more; she usually gave in. I got where I would try to suck the moisture from the sponge. Deb said, “Don’t, if you suck the sponge down your throat we will both be in trouble”. I agreed to not do it again if she wet my mouth down one more time before she stopped. She rewet the sponge and started to swab my mouth again but this time I bit down on the sponge with my teeth and held it until I could suck all the moisture out of it. Deb laughed nervously and told me to quit, or the nurses wouldn’t let her continue swabbing my mouth. I just smiled and gave her a wink and kept sucking until all the moisture was out of the swab. I thought it was funny and laughed. Unfortunately, that may have been the last swabbing.

I was at such low point I had very few lucid moments and faded in and out dreams. The nurses were still out to get me and at one point they kidnapped me to one of their basements and kept me there. They let Deb come over and watch Jaws 3 with me. Not only was it a bad movie, but Deb still wouldn’t believe that the nurses were planning something. When the movie was over, Deb needed to go home for the night and no matter how much I pleaded with her about the nurses she still left. I was left there in the basement alone. Feeling thirsty and abandoned, I fell back to sleep. When I woke up, I was back in my hospital room. There was no one around, so I started calling out for Debbie. Soon a nurse came in and asked how she could help, I asked where Debbie was and why she wasn’t there. The nurse responded it’s 2 am and she was probably sleeping, “You know Debbie needs her sleep too,” the nurse told me.  The nurse left, I sat watching two balloons that were in the corner of my room raising and falling. I watched them for what seemed like a very long time.

Suddenly, my location changed again. I was on a mountain sitting alongside a very steep trail. Again, this was different from the other dreams, the details were amazing - from the small rocks on the trail to the needles on the pine trees. The smell of the forest and the breeze on my face were a nice change. I was outside in the mountains; I became very relaxed. I could hear the narrator talking again. I was shown images again; this time they were things I had done from my past, kind of like my life flashing in front of me. At first it was like the narrator was trying to pump me up. He showed me images of many of my favorite hunts and adventures, like the time I rode a forest service horse called Indian Joe, back deep Elkhorns Mountains where we surprised large heard of elk and ran with them through a big meadow, but mostly me walking through the mountains and plains of Montana and Wyoming. He continued talking, but now more seriously, “You have explored many wild places and have walked all over Montana and Wyoming. A man who has done that should not just sit alongside a trail no matter how steep it seems. If you want to get better, you need to walk out of here and once you start, you must keep going.”

I sat on the side of the trial thinking how nice it was there. I was so tired and thirsty, it seemed like a great place to rest and stay awhile, maybe a long while. The voice started to get louder and more like a shout, “You need to walk out of here; you ‘re Casey Dressler, you can do this. Now!” or do you want to continue with the way things are? Again, I felt like I was given a choice, do you want to try to get better or not.  As he started to repeat himself, I yelled OK. I’m walking. I’m just so tired, I thought to myself. I rolled over to my knees and leaning on a rock I pulled myself to my feet and stood up. I dragged my feet at first, but I was able to start walking, my legs felt like lead, and it felt almost impossible. The trail seemed to get steeper. It seemed like I walked for a long time and the narrator kept telling me to keep walking to heal myself. At one point I was on a steep divide. I remember thinking one side was Montana and the other side was Wyoming. It was nice, but I was extremely tired and remember hoping I could stop soon.  The voice said one last time, “Walk to recovery.”

 Suddenly, I was back in my room at the hospital, it was dark. I tried to move so I could get out of there, but I was still paralyzed and no matter how hard I tried, I still couldn’t escape. I soon remembered how thirsty I was and how lonely I felt. I was so exhausted all I could do was moan. It soon got the attention of a young Hispanic nurse.  I don’t remember seeing her before this, she must be new I thought to myself. She came in and touched my foot. Then very caringly she asked what was wrong and if there was anything she could do to help. I’m ok, I said, I’m just thirsty.  Well, could I get you something to drink? Not believing my ears I quickly said ya. Do you like pop? Ya!  I responded. What kind would you like? Thinking it was a trick I hesitated for a few seconds. She cut In, how about Sprite she asked. Trying not to sound overly excited, I answered, ya, that would be great.  She said, ok, I will go get one. She left the room. I sat there in a panic, was she playing with me? Was someone going to tell the new girl that I was not supposed to have anything to drink. Was I dreaming again? Crap, I was dreaming; she’s not real, she’s not bringing me a Sprite, I worried. It had been around three days without food or water, and I was really feeling despite.

It seemed to take forever, but she came back holding a mini can of Sprite. I can still remember the tap, tap, tap of her fingernails on the top for the can. The Pi-tush!!  sound it made when she opened it.  I could smell it, I could feel the bubbles in my nose, I was so excited. I was still afraid the old nurse was going to come in and stop us. It seemed to take her forever to pour some in a cup. She finally put a straw in it and brought it to my lips. Here you go she said, take little sips. The straw hit my lips and with one big suck it was gone. AH!! It was the best Sprite ever.  Wow, you were thirsty, she grinned.

When morning came and Deb came in, I told her about the Sprite and the nurse that saved my life. I didn’t mention my trip to the mountains. I’m not sure what helped more, the trip to the mountains or the Sprite.

The Sprite. Definitely, the Sprite.