The Swallow Test

Now in reality, I’m not a big whiskey drinker, but the thought that Cody wasn’t coming to get me really upset me. I was starting to become aware that most of what I believed to be real wasn’t. Even though I remember watching an interview with Herschel Walker and I could tell you details about it, including what the four-wheeler looked like, it wasn’t real; it never happened. In short it was starting to get to me and bring me down.

Finally, we got news that the speech therapist was coming in.  When she got there, she was dressed in a surgical gown and mask. She was very pregnant and talked with a heavy accent that was hard for me to understand.  She ran many verbal tests on me, and it seemed to take long time. I thought we were about done when she said they had one more thing, an x-ray swallow test. They had to set up a mobile x-ray machine in my room, and I had to sit up for this. No big deal, but when you’re paralyzed it is. They placed me in a setting position with my back up against the wall and pillows wrapped on my sides to keep me upright. This was tough; it was very uncomfortable and extremely hard to breathe. I had no muscle control. I thought this was the stupidest thing yet, but if this got me food and water, I could deal with it.

It seemed that my luck was still holding because after all that work to prop me up, the x-ray tech was called out for an emergency. They weren’t sure how long he was going to be out and gave me the option to unwrap and lay down or stay the way I was and toughen it out. I chose to stay put. Boy, that sucked. He was out for over 25 minutes, but it seemed like hours. Finally, it was time to prove I could swallow on camera. They gave me some terrible mushy stuff that would show up on the x-ray. I had to repeat this several times but finally got the results. What was supposed to only take 10-15 minutes ended up taking well over an hour. I was wiped out, but I proved I could swallow. She said my ability to swallow was weak, but worked, so my reward was Jell-o and Sprite, Ya! It was great and everyone was happy. For the next week or so, my diet was mush and clear liquids.

I was so wiped I don’t remember much, although I remember eating green Jell-o. Unfortunately, what comes after a meal? Yep, my first poop in a while. This caused a new problem; a young male nurse had to clean me up. I was getting grouchy and this made me mad and I told the nurse, “Knock that crap off, I have been wiping my own ass for fifty years, I don’t need your damn help!” Without missing a beat, the guy said, “OK, prove it.”

I sat there for a few seconds or so and realized that no matter how hard I tried I could not move. So, I had to eat crow, and say, “I’m sorry, I guess I can’t”.  Now for me that was a hard pill to swallow, to admit I was paralyzed and needed help.

The young man handled it well. He just did his job, but when he was finished, he got close to my ear and said, “OK, we need to get a few things straight right now. You may be one of the toughest guys I have ever met, but you need to relax and let us do our job while you heal” Now, I can’t remember everything he said but he gave a very good do-better speech and being an old coach, I appreciated that. My response was simple. I said, “Ya, I’m sorry, I am just so tired, and I need to get out of here and go home.” He said, “I know, but going home right now is not an option. I think you just found that out.” I truly felt like if I didn’t get out soon, I wasn’t going to get out. He said, “You know what you really need is a good rehab center.” Rehab! Yes, sir. That’s what I need, Rehab. I could use some exercise, I thought to myself.

“Let’s do that,” I said. He responded by saying, “Tell them you’re ready to try a rehab center.” I thanked him and he left the room.  Debbie came in shortly after and I spoke up quickly, “I’m ready for rehab.” Debbie just laughed and said it was already in the works, and she had just been talking about it with the doctor.

My focus became not on what I couldn’t do or how tired and crappy I felt, but on getting to a good rehab center. With one little do-better speech the nurse had changed my focus from trying to survive, to trying to recover. What a smart young man.